the party of the year

For months now, our family has been talking about Uncle Job's 60th birthday bash. Family from Utah would be coming into town. What began as a one day event turned into the ultimate mini-family reunion plus primos vacation!

I didn't take as many pictures as I had originally planned to, probably because I was busy having too much fun (plus helping around at all the events and catching up with family I don't get to see that often).

The weekend included hanging out at Uncle Job's house in Huntington Beach, celebrating Uncle Job's 60th birthday party at his wonderful birthday bash, having family over at our house for Sunday dinner, and finally a family day at Disneyland.

We are used to having big family gatherings in Utah, so it was nice to be able to host the people we love so much here at home in California. :)

My cousins Breanna, Matt, and Amanda. My family is all sorts of complicated. Technically, Matt is my first half-cousin, and Breanna and Amanda are our first half cousins once removed (their dad's are my first cousins), but since we're all roughly the same age and went to the same family gatherings growing up, I just knew them as cousins.

With cousin Benji! Benji is a Quesada cousin, can't you tell? I feel like him and Devin look so much alike!

There will be no cake at my future wedding, only glorious pan dulce from San Antonio bakery. 

With my primita Raquel!

You guys! The monte cristo sandwich at Disneyland!! Why was this my first time having it?!?

Thoughts on 28

On the eve of my 28th birthday I asked my mother, "Do you realize that tomorrow I'll be the age you were when we first met?" Let that sink in some. We are in VERY different situations; at age 28 my mother had been married for two years and was giving birth to her first child. At 28, I'm single; I've just finished a dual graduate degree and recently sat for the Utah bar exam. My life journey has been different from my mother—it's been perfectly suited for me!

Lately I've been trying really hard to organize a 5th grade reunion (Seriously, I've never felt more like a private investigator). For some reason at age 28, I feel closer to my elementary school self than ever before. I have become that girl again.  So full of confidence in herself, so aware of who she is, so happy. Back then I paid little heed to popularity contests or the lives of others because I was genuinely happy being me.

Through reunion planning I've had several male classmates confess to me that I was their elementary school crush. I have been genuinely shocked.  I had two classmates confess in one day, and I can confidently say I NEVER saw that coming. Through these confessions there've been some common themes:

"I liked how smart you were...you were so confident...I always remember your smile...I liked the way you spoke...you were always so happy...your voice...I can't wait to see you; I bet everyone is gonna crush on you like I did..."

Their words. not mine.

As a good friend of mine *cough cough Chaney* once said, "girl, you know I keep receipts." Granted, I'm missing two others...

Ironically, the subject matters behind these compliments are some of the very reasons I was made fun of in middle school. A boy who rode the same school bus as me called me "Buggs Bunny" because I had such a big smile—it wasn't a compliment.

One day in the 7th grade I was in art class when the table of students next to mine started making fun of my "big lips." All I could do was ignore their cackles and try not to cry. My Art teacher, Ms. Flier, overheard them and said point blankly, "in a few years you girls will be wishing you had Lauren's lips, and you boys will wish you were kissing those lips." I was equal parts grateful and mortified. Actual proof that middle school is the worst.

I was teased and retreated into a shell, hiding my true self from my classmates. I spent years trying to become a different girl.

At 28 I can confidently say that I don't care to emulate the lives of others. I am 100% happy in my own skin. Happy with my quirks, & I like what I like because I, Lauren Marie Quesada Flores like it. At 28 I feel more in touch with 8-year-old me than ever before. I missed her!

It took a lot for me to get to this point. I threw out a heaping collection of magazines, went on a 4-year social media fast, decided to stop wearing makeup full time, took the plunge and went to grad school. I made decisions for my education and the direction of my life based on what I felt I wanted to study, not what I thought society and my cultures wanted me to do. I threw myself whole-heartedly into church callings and spoke freely anytime I felt impressed to do so in ward council and similar settings. I've fully embraced my Latina roots above and beyond.

At 28 I am so happy with where I am in life, with who I am in this life, truly, and I am happy to be me.

Me Voy! (Me Fui!)

Greetings from Califas!

After 8 years, my time in the Beehive state came to an end.

I just want to be a bit of a numerologist and point out that I first moved to Utah in 2008, I left in 2018, I spent 8 years there total (mission separating), and I left just shy of my 28th birthday. SO MANY 8s!!! 8 is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE NUMBER!

I gradually "broke up" with Provo this summer. Usually the drawn out break-up process can be sticky, and mentally draining, but after having an 8 year relationship with this place—it was just what I needed!

It started with moving out of my townhome in Highland Park and moving to Orem to house and pet sit for a BYU professor and his family. I had the entire home to myself and incorporated my pet duties into my bar prep schedule.

Also thanks to bar prep, I only was able to attend one hour of church most Sundays and had to be *mostly* relieved of my calling in my ward's Relief Society Presidency.

There were less and less visits to campus and even when I did reach campus, I was only within the confines of either the main campus and law library. These last few moments spent on campus were particularly stressful as I felt the full weight of the bar exam on me.

The Friday before the bar exam, I sat in the Rex E. Lee reading room of the law library and heard a voice say, "look at the clouds!" I looked out the window and watched the clouds for a solid 15 min or so as I heard a voice tell me, "your ancestors saw these exact same skies, and as long as they have looked up, I have looked down and blessed them, and the same goes for you." The only music I was listening to up to the bar was the Entre Los Andes playlist on Spotify (a MUST if you haven't ever heard it!) and my Living Legends-Native Section CD. All weekend leading up to the bar I felt the presence of ancient spirits comforting me, and helping me manage the stress of it all.

Most of my free time this summer was spent doing #letsbesupermexican -esque things. Are we surprised? Not really.

The absolute last thing I did on BYU campus was participate in a really great meeting with Latino professors and other BYU allies of the Mexican-American community to prep for some really exciting future opportunities for BYU students to learn about my rich cultural heritage and the struggles of my community. This is all I can reveal on the matter for now, but I am excited for the future of Mexican-American students on campus!

Honestly, I couldn't imagine a more fitting way to end to the BYU chapter of my life.

Relief Society Presidency from Provo YSA 65th! It was never a dull moment with these ladies as major changes were announced to the way Relief Society functions in the church. We joked that we were running a "Not Your Mother's Relief Society." I'm constantly feeling like a guinea pig for the Church's new projects. [I'm looking at you age change and Missionary Leadership Council!]

Immigration Initiative at the Law School with Kimberly from my MPA program

the BYU Community Clinic crew. 

Fourth of July festivities with the family

I reprised my role as Elena of Avalor, but this time for the Taylor Made costume shop on Center street in Provo.

I've been around little Nora several times in real life, but in this moment she was 1,000% convinced that I was Elena of Avalor. She asked me questions about why my crown was different and where my scepter was. I told her my real crown was getting fixed. 

A Sunday evening hike with Jared. It was beautiful (see below)

La Santa Cecilia concert with Katie—she's my go to "super Mexican things" friend in Utah. We ran into Sharona who had been in Living Legends with us in our undergrad years. A fun little reunion at an incredibly fun concert.

Nicole and I catching up with our friend Michael. We introduced him to Fruta Crush, Provo's take on the refresquerias that I grew up with here in LA.

Gah! I miss these two pups and their owners more than I ever thought I could. I found myself feeling like another member of the family. As a parting memento, the family gave me the dog tags with my cell phone number on them, tags the dogs had worn while the family was out of town. I miss being a pet owner, even if it was only for a few months. 

This is the skyscape I mentioned above from my somewhat anxious moment the Friday before the bar exam. It was a spiritual moment, and I felt I had to capture it.

Thus ends the Utah chapter of my life.
An 8 year saga filled with joy, sorrow, but most of all growth.
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& now the adventure continues in California!