Growing pains felt aptly appropriate, because this has not been in the easiest year in the slightest. I felt like I was in a year long abusive relationship with something called the bar exam. I made the difficult decision to move home with no plans, no prospects. I felt deep pain and sorrow, and frankly it's been hard.
Something changed within me the week I finished my journal. I *painfully* realized that I've been hyper-focusing on one small challenge in my life and relegating every other good thing in my life to the background. I took serious steps to cancel out the noise and distractions in my life and wiped my slate clean. I'm off of social media again, and have started leaving my phone in my car during the work day—I'm hoping to get to the point where I really only use my phone for strictly communication purposes.
In some ways, the chapter-closing week felt like it could possibly have been my first week being back home in California. A few days before journal completion, I got a blessing from my institute director. In the blessing, I was counseled to sacrifice my desires and my sorrows over to the Lord and promised that if I should do this, I would "come to an understanding of him and a oneness with Heavenly Father that not many people receive in this life" I want that. When I heard this line, I instantly thought of Nephi, possibly my favorite Book of Mormon hero. Not Nephi from 1 Nephi that most everyone knows, but Nephi the son of Helaman. The Lord gave Nephi the sealing power promising him, "I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea, even that all things shall be done unto thee according to thy word, for thou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will." (Helaman 10:5)
That sounds like oneness with God if I ever heard it, and I want that SO badly. And so, I've preliminarily given my next journal the title "The Search for Oneness" with the hope that this title becomes a premonition fulfilled.
Only good vibes from here on out.
Also, here's some photos from my life as of late.
We celebrated "May the 4th" at Disneyland. Literally only rode the Star Wars themed rides, and wore Star Wars outfits.
Andrea & Brittany came from Utah for a Disneyland trip. I was so happy to see them, we had a little reunion at California Adventure the day I found out I passed the California Bar Exam! Fun fact, both Andrea and Brittany served as my RS Secretaries, and now they're roommates.
Celebrating my CA bar passage with Minnie. :)
Nat and I on a fancy harbor cruise. I wasn't the biggest fan of this weekend, but I'm a big fan of Nat.
Oh, just me, Ashtyn, and an Ostrich. I had a little roadtrip to Solvang with some friends and picked up Ashtyn on the way. Freaking. Love. This. Girl. So glad I've gotten to see her more than expected!
Ian & I attended the HOLA Mexico Film festival. We saw the film, huachicolero (watch it!). Beforehand though, we went into a Trader Joe's for snacks. We were in search for gummy worms, but instead came out with Chile Spiced Mango. They paired perfectly with the lime hot cheetos Ian had packed for us. Chile laced foods are my love language.
Being the nerds that we are, my family made reservations for the opening of Star Wars Galaxy Edge, and OF course we ran into my Mom's second cousin at the land! I also ran into a 5th grade classmate, but that's besides the point. Point is, what are the odds!? Mexican family members are e v e r y w h e r e.
Went to the Angels v. Dodgers game. I work just down the street from Angels stadium. The sky was perfectly painted for the occasion. The Dodgers lost, but esta bien!
I don't know why, but I love this picture of me & my hermanos!
So, here's my attempt to make myself accountable for any future posts.
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