Thursday, January 7, 2016

my calling in life

I've started 2016 with questions floating in my head...

What am I going to do this summer?
Where will I be?
Who will I evolve into this year?
What does Heavenly Father want me to get out of this year?

I'm still attempting to develop answers to those questions. I don't feel stress towards the answer-developing process, but I do feel a bit like a floater. I'm just floating until something really captivates me. Maybe floater isn't the right word? Floater makes it sound as though I'm just twiddling my thumbs over here and waiting for something to happen to me. Maybe a better picture is that I'm walking up the stairs of the Hogwarts castle and waiting to see what floor they lead me to? 

Here I am a JD/MPA student just wanting to put her skills to work, but not quite sure where she needs to put them. Last semester (If there's one thing I regret about fall semester 2015, it's that I didn't blog enough about the start of MPA experience!) in my OB (organizational behavior) we journey into the world of callings. I was forced to sit and really ask myself those questions that I had sort of been avoiding. 
Do I have passion?
Where do I feel the greatest sense of purpose?
Is there any place that I feel drawn to?

From these questions came the birth of my 'calling map'—a journey of self-reflection into who my present self think she should become in the future. (why am I talking about myself in the third person?!?) I have always felt like a jane of all trades, master of none. Maybe that's why I decided to spend a total of 8 yrs at BYU get 3 degrees and 3 minors. Quien sabe? 

Like I said, no stress
more like 'what's next? 2016 what do you have planned for me?'

For the first time, I have no plan & it's kind of exciting!!!! I'm a lover of planners (I'm the nerd who asked for one for Christmas this year). While in the past I might have hyperventilated about the situation, I feel such a calm sensation of a warm glow of peace that everything will work out. I'll eventually get to that floor in the Hogwarts castle where I'm intended to go. 

Just feeling really #blessed over here.

p.s. these scanned papers below are my attempt to figure out just what I'm supposed to do in life.


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